drop zone..prison diaries..

i wake up again as i sense d smell of a lighted ciggarette in my room..im usd to it now,my smokers' instincts never fail me,i can fkn track down a half lit butt from across d wing thez daz..newaz d smoke clutters in my room as all d windows hav been shut down to get d box effect..all i can c across d bed is my semi nude roomie n a poster of jim morrision mingled so beautifully in d smoke screen that if any counter strike freak sees it, he will get a fkn high of a smoke grenade..i check my cell(s) for msgs n calls..1 xtra sweet n odr not so sweet gud mrng msg from her..its 2 30 in d aftrnoon..wt do i xpect..but,oh i feel gud alrite..she jus does dat to me..
"pande sutta maarega kya??" sukhu asks half heartedly..
"not feeln well bastard"
im down wid food poisonin btw..drank a lot on empty stomach..indian alcohol doesnt suit my aristocratic veins i gess..
"then smoke up?" he advises me..
weed is my roomies remedy for evrythn..well i kinda believ it too, i mean its homeopathic n has gud side effects..but not today..i had pukd d whole nite b4 n al i want is now is gud ol sober lif .. i decide to msg her back but then no fkn credit on my cell doesnt evn allow me dat..so i lay down again not knwn whn il b up..dats d stuf i lik bout my collg..u jus dnt knw nethn here..u dnt knw wt u r doin in ur lif..u dnt knw d language or wt thy r talkn bout..u dnt knw wt thy r teachn..u dnt knw wt thy hav cookd in d mess..u dnt knw wts d syllabus..u dnt knw wt to write in ur xam besides ur roll numbr..as i say u jus dnt knw nethn..
jhandu enters my room..
"behenchod GATE ka scene hai?? "
im not talkn bout Graduate aptitude test in engineering here..we dnt talk bout studies ..2 more years of engg aftr 4 yrs of rehab here is not a fkn option..plus we dnt hav GPAS for that..thats another story..
Gate here in r fkn collg is jus ndr shop we c daily in r non collg too often dat we stop noticin it..all it offers is sm soft drinks n fags n sm grubb..as i said it offers all..d anna there acts lik an angel or smthn..he smiles n gets paid for sendn us to heaven..reminds me of d dark ages whr d churches wud sell tickets to heaven..i wait for my renaissance to happen,i hope d lite wil shine on me too n mother Mary will whisper slowly in my ears ..i mean Paul Mc Cartney cant get all her lov..Dunno bout mother mary,untill then its only mother Mari(juana) for me..
"Gate chalega saale" jhandu screams..
"cash hai?" i ask,im broke as alwaz..i only write whn im broke..
"ho jayega,chal"
"chal fir"
i put on d jeans n shirt lyn on d floor nearby to me..it stinks..i put on some deo..it stil stinks..i go on newaz..
"brush ur teeth bastard" sm 1 shouts to me..
"ill hav mentos u fkr,n fk u too" i shout back
N so the hungry n perched me leaves for ndr gate encounter..i hope d cold drinks r cold..

nameless..bastard..

"oye pande wt does coherent mean??" asks sukhu my hot roomie..

"it means smthn..kya hua??" i hate him for askn such questions whn we r smokn..

"nthn..ws thinkn smthn"the bastard shoots back..

"u think in english??" im impressd..

"ma chuda" ..n now we r on same wavelength..

n d pointless conversation goes on..sm times its so fkn pointless dat u just dnt know n u jus dnt care wt ur talkn bout..

more recent 1 ws d business plan which me n sukhu(again !! we spend sm quality time) came up wid..

it ws a masterplan to overtake the MNC "apple" by makin a fake company(oh fek!! colg lingo for oh fuck,now u can use d word fuck in front of ur families too,things ur seniors teach u) viz "pineapple"..which wud buy al apple stuf..the plan ws to paste a pine sticker nxt to apple n sell them at a profit wid a company motto of "size does matter"..as a pineapple is bigger than a apple.. that ws d catch..cm to think of it..it rockets pasts d list of al dumb ideas straight to the fkn top but we got such kick out of it..gess we wr high (again)..

more on d real world which for me exists in d campus of my shitty collg smwhere in d barren lands of tamil nadu..

got the grade card(again) few days back..place next to gpa was left blank by the collg authorities..yaya..i got a suppli..analog devices..i hav no problm wid d subject but i hate d prof..all thoz who hav faced d monotonous wrath of narayanan wil agree wid me..not only does he make a borin subject lik analog devices more borin but u can actually feel sad for al d semiconductors n transistors he handles..jus d way he treats them,u can actually report an abuse under some fkn penal code..the touchn,d fondlin..1 fkn pervert he is..i can go on n on n write fkn shit bout d bastard but then i think i hav a lif (ndr hypothetical belief to raise my confidencn)..

n ya im broke..again..but i gess bein low on cash helps smtimes..peopl knw u dnt hav money..thy offer u ciggs n al..peopl u owe money to stop harrassn u..n u got to njoi d mess food..rotis made of plastic which whn sent to trash get recycld back..eco friendly mess warden here..ndr bastard,ndr story..

well mess jus reminded me how fkn hungry iam..cuz dats how u feel whn u come out of it..not plannin to go thr again..lets c if my hot roomie is hot on cash..which i fervently hope he is..

gotta go people..gotta eat..

n 1 day get laid(again??)..

headstrong..the re return..

whatvr happened in room 69, no one knew..some believd it was much lik what happnd in room 96 if u get ur axis right ie but then people say..but whatvr happnd inside kinda changd Bp or atleast he thought so..some again believed that Bp didnt change much n was still d same phony bastard as he was but then again people say..Bp howevr believd he had achievd some real knowledge,smthin worthwile.. to prove this he startd talkn bout racism,revolution,radicalism,reforms,riots n rituals n al(some big words he had lukd up in a dictionary under d alphabet R while he ws lukn for Rape drug)..peopl were right..he stil was a phony bastard..
Bp returnd to his old home..he shifted to his old home cuz he ws short on cash n didnt want to work for money..he didnt want to work for nethn actually but he thought by sayn that he didnt want to work for money would seem to make him luk lik a enlightened soul..what a phony bastard..
newaz he ws returnin home aftr a longtime n it ws kinda big deal for him..he wsnt half xpectn the grand welcm that he ws bout to get..he got a note sayn "foods in freezer,mom"
"my mother loves me" he cried whole nite sayn thez words..
It was rainin hard the next mornin when he got up..He ws fkn delighted to see his mother n sis Bi Pasha at home.he felt special as he thought the whole family had stayd home just for him..actually it ws d fkn rain..
"Bp ! when wil this fkn rain stop?? i gotta c bout a gal" compaint Bi..
"Gal,fk u sis..atleast date guys,thy wil treat u d way ur meant to be!!"
thats d best he cud say widout bein graphic n al,she ws his sis aftr al..
"fk u Bp,wt happnd to ur im a feminist crap??"
"Iam a feminist only whn im on a date..that way my gal picks up her own tab n al..plus i also get laid cuz im lik a senstiv guy n i dnt evn hav to pay for it..cm on who needs hookers whn u can fk ne1 for free?"
"but i guess people want to b hookers..i mean ur gettn paid for gettn laid..Oh Bp i wanna b a hooker..god loves hookers"
"Praise the lord" beamed Bp

He alwaz thot his younger sister ws d most intellectual person he has evr met..she wsnt..But Bp believd in her lik nethn..she ws a bi aftr al..accordn to him she ws havn d best of both d worlds..evn Bp had tried swingn d odr way but sm xperiencs were quite painful n he cudnt handle d job..handjob as sm calld it...
Bp remaind inside the whole day n relaxd!! he wrote poems n al on rain n life cuz he stil thot he ws enlightened n al ..Bi almost cried aftr readn his this poem on rain..
" Rain rain go away
come again anodr day
my lil sis is so gay"

Next day he decided to go to his old school again..he had enrolled again n al..OLD OAK PUBLIC SCHOOL was d best in the state.."The only one in the state" was their motto..howevr it had 2 b changed cuz bein d best if ther ws only 1 in state kinda ruind their image..it was ruind newaz but school board consisted of some old dickheads who didnt have a lif n needed smthn to change..so thy changed d motto, it was changd to"quel est votre problème chienne?" which meant somethn hotshot in french or sm gay language lik dat..
the guys howevr referred to it as OOPS n considerd it as a big mistake of their life..legend goes that Britney Spears got laid here n came up wid d lyrics of her most soul quiverrin song..no xtra brownie points for guessn d name..the song was a big hit tho..gals wantd to feel the same wt Britney ws feeln whn she wrote d song..guys howevr jus wantd to feel smthn,Britney had just got laid for christs sake..
Oops (the school) had a tradition of bringn out the best from its student..some of d gals had brought out their best babies in the Oops' dorms but thats anothr story..Back to d glories of Oops,regarded as d finest in the state it had d tradition of transformin boys into men..Bp howevr thot it wsnt a big deal..wts so fkn great bout it..boys turn into men only..fuckn turn them to women rather to gud lukn women..there wr far too many boys in d campus he felt..no wonder Oops had an environment of dick-tatorship..
Newaz Bp was back at Oops as a student..Bp felt nothn had changedin al thoz years..there wr stil thoz snooty fuckheads who calld them profs,assistant prof n crap lik dat..Bp hated assistant profs more..thy r d real cause of problem he had said 1nc..thy aint prof so wt thy do is thy assist d profs..lik cm on get a lif..al thez prof shit had stayd in d school for generations n thy wr al yellow..yellow symbolizes shit if u dnt knw..if ur shit ne odr color go see a fkn doc..Bp felt al thez yellow bastards talkd crap lik education,nation,honor,society n al..why cudnt thy talk lik normal educated non yellow 1s..he felt thy wr over educated,overpaid n had excess free time to kick ass..excess of evrythn is bad he usd 2 say..xcept for booze,weed,music n sex..cuz thoz things wr gud n n excess of gud is better..
yups so Bp entered his classroom..searched for the goodlukn females n then chose a vantage point,at an angle of 36 degree from the hottest chick in d class..his mind was lik a compass n he cud alwaz get d angles right..the concept of 36 degree was once explaind to him by his crazy friend..According to him the vantage point for such missions involved huge amount of trigonometry cuz whnvr there wr curves involvd angles playd an important role..he alwaz sat an angle of 36 degree from the hottest chick n when he subtracted 36 degree form 60 degree ( 60 degree which he thought was the building block of equality in trigonometry cuz an equilateral triangle had each angle as 60 degree n he believd in equality cuz he believd in the glorius principles of french revolution which said equality liberty n smthn else lik fuckenity..) so aftr subtraction u got 24 degree which alwaz came out to be the angle of elevation of the 2nd hottest chick( 2 hot chicks never sit with each odr until thy r lesbian,this rule can be applied there also after applyn some transforms)..newaz nature alwaz followed this law as the divine ratio of 36 24 36 reappeared..moereovr if u added thez numbers u got 96 which was holy as it was the opposite of satan's number 69..if u think 666 is the satans numbr then fkn get a lif..new satan is hot n horny(devil's horn n al)..So 69...(for more graphic description see the figure above)...
some say the friend who made this law later joined a crappy engineering collg way down south where this degree law failed bigtime..cuz d collg ws deprivd of chicks let alone the hot ones..only degree the collg provided was BTech(bachelor of technology),which was better than BE(bachelor of Engineering) cuz he didnt wannaBE.. nethn.. they say that guy later freaked out n startd writn psycho crappy blogs!!

newaz as Bp sat,the sluttiest lukn Prof entered..Bp thot she gonna teach them striptease n al..
" All Hands Hoay! hey punters,gonna teach u english oye..name is Swetlana Petroslovoka..call me Captain Swap if u dare..cuz oye as shakspr said wts in a fkn name..oye.."
fake smiles were passed by some dumbass kids who thot she had crackd d intellectual joke of the millenium..Bp was furious..firstly he hated russia,he hated evry nation n sinc russia ws d biggest he hated it d most..now a russian slut wid a fake pirate accent was gonna teach him english..secondly he didnt giv a shit bout shakspr wts in a name crap theory,if d bastard believ in his theaory then he wud hav writtn his crap plays anonymously or under a fake name say Newton..that Newton thing wud hav saved such pain in the ass he felt.if shakspr wrote for newton then newton wudnt hav discovrd gravity n al that crap..cuz then newton wud hav been famous for his plays..n once ur famous u start gettn laid..n whn ur gettn laid how d fk u gonna think bout smthn lik gravity..
so while Bp was thinkn al this,his parallel mind was thinkn of ways of seducin the russian pirate prof wid big assets..
"That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there Cap Swap" said Bp"thy dnt call me long john cuz my head is long,avast hoay,want me to drop my anchor"
Cap Swap had found wt she ws lukn for...

hades....

i have been hit..right at the end..thought things were goin smooth..well they never do,atleast for me..something has to go wrong..n then i start up again..tryn to make it right..n if it turns out right for me then it ends messn it for sm1 else..so im jus a part of d bigger plan..n the order of things continue..

2nd year at the collg ended with yet another disasterous xam...it felt lik a homicide..prof takin headshots n me wondern at the hall whats his motive is and..then.. bang..thats what i get..bang..bong is what i had hoped..but things dont work out..so i come back to the hostel..pack my things n leav..iam a half engineer now,im supposd to hav been groomed,nurtured here at national institute of technology tirruchchirraplli..one of the nation's finest tech institutes..only the term fine here has a differnt meaning for me..anyways..in an year il b assumed to knw things..get a job..start actin lik a mature person..talk formally,firm handshakes..n do every other thing that everyone before me had been doin..basically to end up dyn as an old lonely man..i can see it..i can see myself, urslef....no matter what we do to our lives..i can see us rottin away at the end of it all..sitting in front of a tv in a miserable home thinkn bout fixed interest and mortgage ..gettn mind fucked about all odr things that we dnt knw n dnt care rite now..so wts d point..i try to find an answer and this pointless point searchn continues..n so does my will to survive..to survive thez next 2 yrs..people survived holocaust..i try n motivate myself..but then unlike them,i can actually run away..to where is the question..

not all questions hav answers..nor do i answer all questions..so il let that one pass..n hope 1 day..whn in my miserable home i luk back to this time,i hav somethn to make my day a lil less colder..

n mayb that day ill get a lif..

headstrong ..home again..

So for the 1st time in 2 years Bp went back to his hometown..as he crossed his old school,all the memories(dirty 1s) came into his mind..he kinda felt dizzy..his hands became numb..cold sweat ran over his body..n he finally puked..

"fuck..i shud cut my drinking!!"

He entered his school..the school corridor ws buzzn.. young kids wid dreamz in their eyes..this ws d place to be..he likd such a place..it reminded him how simple his lif was..without ne aim..n he likd dat..n out of no where he felt outnumberd..his old school mates n teachers gathered around him..he hated them..he hated evrybody but god..cuz he didnt believ in it..

y waste ur hatred on smthn dat doesnt exist..he felt..

"So Bp where wr u??" askd sm1..

She was a beautiful girl with the shortest skirt in the campus..

"as if u care??" replied Bp...

"ofcourse i dnt" said sm1

" so y did u ask?"

"cuz i care"

"but u said u didnt care"

"did i??"

"i think u did"

"hastalavista Bp"

n sm1 was gone..Bp missd him immediately..aftr a long time he had met sm1..

"gotta find sm1"

So he went to his friend Shah to find weed n sm1..

"long time shah"..

"wtf ..u alive Bp"..

thy wr meetn aftr a long time..they embraced..

"shah dude u havnt changd..u stil stink"

"u2 man..u stil gotta hard on.."

"im in trouble man..i need stuff"


"u in2 business..??"
" u bet iam!!"
"so whr can i get it?"
"take my business card..ull find out.."
"damn it..is it official now??"
"ofcourse not..thats d whole fun.."
"fun!! whr can i find sm1??"
"see my card Bp..u cand find ne1 there.."
"fuck u!!"
"i lov u too"

So Bp read Shahs business card n went 2 find stuff n sm1..the card read
SHRIMPS !! WE SELL PRAWNS !!
it was a masterclass idea by Robert(details later)..
..SHRIMPS actually denoted SHahs PIMP Service..only it didnt sell prawns but porn..
Bp so wantd 2 meet dat beautiful gal he had met in his school earlier that day..
Bp entered SHRIMPS n askd for sm1..
"wt kinda sm1??" askd d Robert the manager..(Robert ws Shahs brain..Shah didnt hav ne)..
"she studies in my school"
"u mean a school gal?" n Robert gave a dirty smile..
"yaya but my school"
"does it matter son??" this time a dirtier smile..
"it matters a lot"..
"fkn pervert..school senti.." thought Robert..
"k ..done..how wud u b payn.." askd Robert..
"for what?? u mean d stuff..??"
only Bp ws referrn 2 weed as he stil thot this ws Shahs weed OUTlet..
"fkn bastard needs stuff also..pervert snuffabitch.."
Robert howevr confusd this stuff wid d sex toys his agency provided..
"wt kinda stuff..??"
"oh same old hard hittn 1"
"k wil b done..room 69..here r the keys.."

Bp took the keys n left for the room..

Headstrong- the pilot

This is dedicated to Anoushka Mathews..sorry gal..ur now linked wid the biggest piece of crap in the history of blogging..

Present Day:

i lov u..she said to him..

she was an awsm gal..thy wr in lov..she had waitd long enuff for him 2 say..finally she jus said it..he panickd..choked..words wr jus not cmin out..he thought fast..

same pinch..he said..
fuck..he thought...
n piched her..only the pinch was on inappropriate areas..

u r sick...!!

no, i am a jew..!!

she slappd her..(cant reveal where)..n went away forever..

lif has never been same again for Balbir Pasha aka Bp..

Bp was 19 at that time..he had lost the lov of his lif..for the 1st time he felt pain..cuz he wsnt stoned for a change..

"shit..gotta buy sm weed.."

he decided to meet his only friend..shah..

Recap..

Their friendship dated back 2 d school daz, only that time Bp had dyslexia(weed helpd him recover..for more visit http://www.need4weed.com/ )..

So Bp had misread shah for hash..n sinc then followd him everywhere..shah too was a friend indeed(read friend in weed)..both wr responsible for things thy wr proud of..1 included death of Mr Pasha..Bp nevr likd his dad..

how can u lov a guy who nails ur mother..?? he usd 2 say..

legend says 1 fine day Bp was found lyn under a bridge aftr overdosage..his family doc calld his fathr..

Your Bp is very high..iam sorry..

Mr Pasha who ws a heart patient died on the spot..

Bp blamed evrythn on her mother who he thought ws lesbain..

"She is alwaz gone for thez pussy parties..i shud b goin there n not her" he had 1nc complaint..

only poor Bp didnt knw thz wr kitty parties..

so he left the house n decided to liv on his own..

OWN ws d name of the account Mr Pasha had saved for his OWNly daughter Bi Pasha..

But sinc she ws Bi..Mr Pasha kickd her away from his will..thats free will..

Mrs Pasha who ws a catholic(nothn 2 do wid cats n kitties) had said 2 her daughter BiPasha that St. John will save her..

while Mr Pasha , a jew believd in Abraham... BiPasha was saved Bigtime..

so now wid her sisters money..Bp went out to liv where he met the lov of d lif kokila(read coke hi la)..

Present day again:

But now she was gone... n he had 2 move on..

all in a days work

time : 1st class of the day..

location: 2nd last bench..(missd d last 1..sm1 came 1st n took it)..saali last seat k liye bhi fite hai..

situation: not so gud..

here iam sitting ,tryn hard not to hear wt d prof is sayn..lik real hard..but his not so rich baritone mixd wid tambi accent is hittng my hears...the shelling continues for nxt 20 mins..i feel lik a soldier in a battlefield..tryn 2 survive..only thy r better off..thy can die..

prof shouts: shud the input voltage be high?? till what time shud it b high??

High?? did sm1 said high..n my brain starts 2 work..

i wanna shout who d fk r u 2 decide..its voltage's choice..let it b high if it wants..let it b high until it feels gud about it..poor voltage..

n so now im writn this..d prof thinks im takn notes..bloody jerk he is..but then he cant help it..he decided 2 teach in trichy..i mean come on..who does dat..

yups..so again..im thinkn now..n wondern wt 2 rite..i mean i cant write nonsense al d time..

i luk here n there..not a single gal..(god must b gay)..i mean there r 11-12 of m..but only on passports..y r thy livn in gals hostel..i dnt knw..n now d only surd in d class has askd a doubt..chootiye saale chup kar..saale k sirf do hi shauwk hai..accha khaana aur gandi ladhkiyan..but usse bhi ghatiyaa doubt poocha saale ne..newaz..

stil 17 mins 2 go..

11 mins now..

the guy sittng nxt 2 me is sleepn..i envy this fkr..he can fkn sleep newhr..n i cant sleep in d class..not that i find it ethically wrong(i hav no ethics)...therz smthn pyschologically wrng wid me..i want 2 sleep..but i jus cant..gotta a c a pyschiatrist..i still hav 2 yrs 2 go..aise kaise chalega..

pyschology reminded me..smtimes i wish i studied pyschology..then i wud make a decent attempt n try 2 find out wt thez tambis want..i mean it was easy up there in north..i cud gess wt d teachers wr thinkn n ws usually on top of m..(not literally)..here u jus cant say wt d fkn prof gonna do..1 thing is for sure..tambis dnt wanna hav fun..

finally..attndc..d only reason i came ..

"oye chuttad uth ja" i say 2 my fellow dreamer..

"behnchod ulti chaat lecture tha" he says..

"wtf..u wr sleepn.."

"abe roz to chaat hota hai..aaj kya champak ki kahani sunaayi usne??"

i agree..

"fifteeeeeee"

"yessir"

over..

period..

many more such periods 2 go..

n 1 more prof enters..fk iam leavng..

finally

Answer briefly..(not in briefs..even if u do..no 1 cares..)
Q1.why did i finally start the blog..??
Answer: yaya..as it was long time coming..but stil ..the following factors combined..n here i am typng this crap..
1.net here in trichy is fkn slow..n so is lif..not that i complain..so sinc i am online..n there is nothn better to do..
2.iam low on cash..(altho it doesnt hav nethn 2 do wid d blog but stil..wantd 2 mention it..)
3. n ya out of cigarettes..(has 2 do wid cash)..wud hav been smokn n not doin this had i had fag..
4. n wantd to typ smthn as my data structres teacher wants me 2 work on machine n write codes....didnt i tell u i scord 1 out of 20 in dat..n ws xpectng worse..hoho..

thez r all i gess..basically jus wantd 2 vent my fkn frustation..nthn seems 2 b goin gud..lif..
(doesnt exist) dat also includes lov lif ...grades..sutta bhi nahn mil raha ..n gunners drew yet ndr game..bloody manu on top..wtf..behrahal..
so im stil thinkn wt 2 write..
well i can write bout how i made out last nite ..but then i dnt wanna write fiction..
so i can write bout capitalism n how it is relatd 2 homosexuality..
al startd whn i lukd at d census depictng numbr of gays/lesbian in capitalist USA n communist China..aftr studyn d graphs n watchn lotsa lesbian porn(chinese, american n chinese on american) i cudnt relate nethn(read not in a position to relate nethn n u dnt hav 2 imagine l d postions)..so i later deduced capitalism is not relatd 2 homosexuality..n hwo cares as long as thy r makn porn..
Make porn n not war..
so i gess my first entry shud end on this holy quote..
ill b back..(from back)
pandeG