hashing

hi iam lil.codey@gmail.com ..thats my id and thats me..evrybody calls me that..my pc calendar reads 14 may 2063..if the old world was bc,then new world is pc for sure....bout me, iam 14yrs old..thats lotta timestamp if u speak in our lingo..so are we? we are a bunch of kids tryn to code our way in the world of power..we are sm 14 15 yrs old guys and some self proclaimed girls(yeah pretty girls still can't code) or shud i say, budding coders who are aspiring to the big ones when we reach our physical prime..no we dnt want to be some software enggs from sm fancy technical collg..i mean i wud have named my id as lil.softy@gmail.com then..but i didnt..not because the id wud hav given wrong non masculine vibes..well that too..but theres a big diff btwn a coder and a software engg..the one like between a car driver and a f1 racer..and hey that "lil" luks kiddish but i named it when i was jus 3..it ws my 1st email,id and a lotta highscores on the internet are named on it over the years,so dnt wanna change it and spoil my legacy.. we r the gods..we are evrywhr..even the president of US and the queen of england are hotshot coders..yeah good gesswork..queen is not pretty..and nor do i think that princess wud be in future cuz DNA's algorithm cant fk up that bad..so u c the its a world of coders,if u can code u can be anyone...well officially anyone..i mean this our very own proffessor here in india cud hav been both PM of bihar and a senator in some state in US at the same time but smhow the law fkd him up..i mean the plan was good,nor the US or the state of biha givs a fk bout each odr,so no1 wud hav found out..so now he is the head of CID.."daya,darwaza code do"..his famous tweet these days..gupta sir..funny guy and i heard one of the best fifa player in the world...will meet him again this year in our school's alumni meet..i will be the host that time...ha ha local host..bad one..so last year in school and im lukn for the best coding college in the world,a run time environment as thy wud say..any thing to get the rights to log into that site..yea yea its not easy hack that site..its fkn impossibe..i mean the best are defending that site..plus sm genius who crack that automatically get into the collg or sm how get killd in mysteriousness,..so the site is alwaz secured..alwaz..i mean gupta sir is defending the site for linux's sake..heard in his collg days,he online had sex with the wife of itallian PM's wife pretending to be the ambassador of Brazil..the wife thot that the line was secure while the live chat was being transmitted all over the world,"jus for the kicks" he had infamously tweeted..fkd the relationships of both the country..well we all thank him for that amazing fkd up classic football world cup semis a decade back..what a match..the men were killing each other on the field..sm purists believ

that jus for the "kicks" cud have double meanings..i mean we all knw his love for fifa and football so cud that kick in the tweet was deliberate ,did he predict it?? well i think so..the Italian spies were lookn for him..well that made him join the CID and now he hunts them..what a guy..even beated this italian guy in "pick ur nation and play" in yearly fifa confrence last year..yeah he picked india and fkd italy,double whammy..indian team so lousy in fifa..i mean jus like reality..i wonder why we can't play football.."khoon mein nahn hai game saala.."..so instead we code and fuck them online..bet it was more demeaning than actual italian side losin to indian side on real football..the dynamics hav changed..wars are won online..cuz now the real men of a nation are coding and eating pizza and not outside, toiling hard..

so now u see how obsessed iam with coding and this collg..im not the only one, the whole of our fkn generation is obsessed bout it..reasons vary..i mean some are doing cuz their coder parents want them too,sm themselves want to code,fkn nerds...this guy in my tuition wants because he feels coders have the hottest gf,another wants to be a serial killer,kill people on net ..sm girls tryn to prove that thy can code too..sm doin for the money..why iam doing exactly is smthn i dnt knw yet..or maybe i havnt written it down yet..i feel coding is essential today..jus cnt go thru it..i think there has been a transfer of power in the world from the physically stronger to the physically meeker..the power has shifted in this chain chrologicaly..dinosaurs,lions and other predators,stronger early men,smarter early men,large armies to small smart armies,gladiator ruled by a senator..the energy that once came from a single point goin back to a single point..a master server connected by the brains of the smartest ones..its a cycle..the universe will explode the day that server gets fkd up..sounds silly,im a kid,i can dream..and i wanna be a part of that server sm remotely pre mature way for that day is still very far and will obviously elpase my living days easily..i still believ this crap..so i want to leave a legacy..a code that u read,n u whistle out.."woah, thats so typical him" ..a code that inspires a generation..like facebook..that changes life,life style..smthn thats taught in colleges for its simplicity and beauty..for that i wanna learn and join this collg..i mean bein getting selected and bein a part of "those 100" for this year is not a child's play..i have cleared the 1st two rounds..firing a fake nuke missile carryn condoms and a postcard saying from russia wid love near whitehouse ..i bet gupta sir designed this task..bad sense of humor,sex and audacity to fk up nations' sentiments is his signature..plus the complexity of scoring points in this task..the 1st one to do this within one day was given major points..and then as time increased from day one to day 10 points increased exponentially..as the russian defence security also increased..but that didnt mean that u can wait till 10th day and fire yr nuke cuz points were only given to 1st 150 entries only and it was an elimination round..and catch was the diff in number of points from day 1 to day2..it was mindoggln..and so if ure within 150 and fire on day 10..u r pretty much the winner of the whole thing cuz nxt rounds are non eliminative and some total is taken..so u didnt knw...when to fire evn u can fire cuz u didn knw wt numbr was fired and american defence was also defending its ass by not disclosing the figure,a lot of hacking also went thr to find out info from pentagon's database to ..thr ws lotta bluffn..lotsa algorithm considered..i deduced my graph and fired on 8th day..i was later told i was number 137th and 4th that day..so not bad..only 13 guys over me..a total 457 nukes wr fired in those 10 days..307 not considered..thats the standard the collg sets..gettn best 150 outta the cream..and then kicking ass of 50 great minds..second round was a speed round..making sure who gets all the atms of the world ejecting money at the same time..i won this one,took me 3 hours..i think this round's idea was sanchez's..mexicans love easy money and chaos..great guy too..one of coolest alumni of this collg..rite now im doin the 3rd task..posting my SOP on the collg site's homepage..its almost impossible to crack in the site,if u do it u are already in..but u cant get in,u have a clue..the collg has launched its journal and there is a pattern smwhr which says what time the site will be not firewalled..u can log in and post ur SOP then..u can try log in only 3 times..so no hit and try..i had a deduced the algo and cracked the pattern and now posting my SOP there..y am i taking a lot of time is because what i write on my SOP gonna decide, how and by whom im taken under mentorship when i join the collg...so its not a joke..i now hope,sir when u are reading it,take me as ur pupil.".samajhdaar ko ishaara kaafi hai"..so thr it is my SOP,on ur face....mind the spellings and grammar,i hope u guys have code to fix this problem..hoho....and also mindn the bluntness and lack of artistry in my writing,im not a fkn poet,thr r no hidden proses,dnt look for that..lets see u can figure a code inside..literature club of the collg is so not pickn me..do i fkn care..hoping the next task is challenging..

see you bastards,next summers..

lil.codey

ENTER..

42

i turned 24 today..i was not feeling that great about it and then..

ur fucked..said sm one..

im jus 24.i replied..if im 42 and still single...then im fkd..

or am i then?

so i thot it wud b actually cool to be single at 42..so here is what it wud be if i fk up real bad or real good..

so thats how i plan it to make it cooler for a loser 42 me..

i teach maths..class 9th 10th..thats the best time to nurture ur maths dream ..i will live the kid's dream..in 11th 12th u face the reality and reality i dnt digest that much..collg maths,no im not goin back to collg again,i promised that to myslf whn i graduated..

(plus 11th 12th ke liye padhna padhega fir se..)

so i liv nearby in a cottage provided by a boarding school near mussoorie..its co-ed..obviously..it cud hav been all girls..but i need boys to talk football when im high..u knw" i ws there whn we played at highbury n henry kissed the turf on its farewell match there which happend to b my 18th bday..stuff lik that..romance with the club and all" i can talk bacout dhoni hittn a 6 over long on to lift the 2011 wc at mumbai but trust me ,2015 script is better..i knw,im 42..i hav seen it all..

so the cottage..its 1st floor..studio apartment, terrace n balcony..i hav an old bullet which i only use to go to doon once in 3 months to meet parents and sm relatives..thy dnt get me much now..not new..i dnt get them too..so we drink on this randomness..and i come back..its good to see mum,she still looks beautiful..dad can stil drink more than me..

i dnt hav much furniture..a double bed(u nvr knw)..3 bean bags in balcony(u nvr knw again)..i call them been bags..cuz thy remind me of my had "been" youth..its a funny game i play wid myslf..fey fey i call it..derived from irony irony as fe is iron in chemistry n shit and ironical as it is,its my most hated subject..one antique cupboard..ek sheesha..the hookah i meant...my antique cupboard has an antique mirror too..u look young in that mirror,hell ya,it helps me survive..so thats pretty much it..yes thrz this old bookshelf..thr more books in that which i have not read than those which i have..smhow time nahn milta..hah..fey fey again..ul learn the game soon..and there is trippy..the man who runs my life..he cooks my dinner,laundry..get my stuff..i cnt do it widout him..thr are months whn i use my fone to call him only..so u get the basic idea of how fuckd iam..

on a typical mrng he wakes me up..we roll one together or he does as i still cant roll..people i hav tried,i jus cant..smoke and discuss worldly shit...

so in the mrng i teach kids basic maths..sm wed/thus i take a leav..its champ leag late nite and im an old man now..kids smtimes take my trip on arsenal when im grumpy n givin them random tuff ques on an un announced class test..but thy lov me,i mean who doesnt..i eat a heavy brkfast in school canteen with other teachers during recess cuz im hungry after the early mrng joint...so i skip lunch..random coke n chips n cigg here n there..im still cool..brkfast time i try and avoid other teacher's discussion about boring normal stuff..pension n pf and loans n in laws n not listening teenage daughters..hey did sm1 say a teenage daughter?

so ya..i pass a random remark here n there..people act as thy dnt care wt is say...but their eyes say it all..aftr fkn their day i move to 2nd half of the school day..i roll one more in a cigg,that much i can do..this is the best part..i have made fellow language teachers let me peek thru kids notebook..its fun reading their writings..and trust me syllabus hasnt changed much..read "apne pitaaji ko paise mangwane hetu patr likho" and the kid wrote 1 page full of letter..when in reality he wud jus text dad sayn 10k account plz? and a smiley if its a girl..but no he wrote a full page for that and got 4 on 5 as score...12 on 10 for hypocrisy..reading english is more challenging cuz the plays are decent and curriculum better..bullshit asides,the teacher is pretty..widowed ,so my future love interest..if i do tie the knot and say my vows at 46..it wud b wid her and thy wud b in good grammar..

so i read stuff n discuss it wid her,most of the time tryn to invite her to my place,but widows hav more issues than married ones,u cant cheat on a ghost i gess,but i dnt giv up..smtimes sm kids cm in for sm doubt..sm are genuine..sm nerds tryn to be cool..best is whn pretty girls cm wid a heavy idiotic doubt like is "sir,was hence proved reqd in the end or smthn?" and im lik wow she is cute..fk dnt judge me..thy too hav a crush on me..ok im 42 but im hot..im still lean,white hair..grey as she wud correct my grammar..marry n then correct me bitch..newaz..i wear a tweed jacket...grey brown...i cycle around in campus..this real old IMA bike painted red..twisted sense of humor,n a great collection of hats n mufflers..why am i single again?

so yeah..im doin bad ...but i hav a faded sense of reality as u can see..i still use facebook...ya its stil thr..zuckerberg died n sm arab sheik bought it..made some reforms thr,girls cant log in after 10 or smthn..people r revolting for freedom of facebook on facebook...thy jus wnt quit and use sm odr social network..world has gone crazy..so ya bout me..still facebookn,sm times i stalk my ex gfs,smtimes i see wt my old frnz r doin with their lives n kids..thy too r fkd but conventionally,u knw how society wants u to b fkd,wid taxes n mortgages n kids tuition fee,i mean fkd cuz u cant score is lookd down upon..i mean we are all fkd..y the segregation? fkn world..no point..literally..

besides that i write..ya..as random as alwaz..i hav been publishd..anonymous ofcourse..my 1st novel was named dropper in the rye..major success in pakistan..ya it still exists as a nation.

so..post school hours is the best time to see actually how a kids lif is shaping up..i predict their majors in collgs,their jobs..its funny again as i cudnt deduce mine..again..fey fey..smtimes i play football wid the guys..i still kick ass..pace has gone,vision as alwaz is thr in plenty..more like giggsy,ndr ironical reference..no he doesnt play nemore..but his son gyan does..wenger is plannin to sign him..yeah he is still thr n w hav won 28 titles now...still no champ league..we are cursed...thats the only explanation..that has to be the only explanation..

evening time i relax in my cottage..mussoorie is a great place to be..trippy n i drink at nites..no smkn up then..health issues,we are old,cm on..senior boys join us for drinks on a pretense of doubt sessions..these guys wil do good in life..i mean whosoever can trade calculus for rum can survive the sit that lies ahead in life..dinner is pretty much the same evrday,heavily carnivorous diet..sher abhi bhi ghaas nahn khaata..

so thats pretty much a daily day..wknds i dnt rembr..old habits..

so 42 doesnt look all gloomy to me..and its the answer to life anyway..

PS..a dedication to all trichy guys who are still single and finding it hard (the life i meant)..dnt worry..

Remember..

6₁₃ × 9₁₃ = 42₁₃

its an unlucky base...but then 10 hasnt helped us that much too..so stay calm and DON'T PANICK..

Adios..till i write again..

Douglas Adams..respect..