As i stare hard on my blank notepad screen..yes i dont use ms word,hate when some one tells me my spelling/grammar is wrong..reason mayb i liked maths in school,x+y=7 has a very lil chance of a grammatical error , mayb only if u put capital x or y cuz then the variables change..oh fuck it..shut up..so what was i sayn...so staring hard
on my blank screen..well its not blank now..so thats some progress but the funny buttons on the keyboard are giving me a rough time..."joh bhi likhna chahun barbaad karein keypad mere"..high note, funny cap..i shud be a rockstar(time to buy 'sadda haqq ithe rakh' boxers)..that reminds me..what a bloody nonsensical(if thats a word) movie..if getting
drunk,singing and fighting makes u a fkn rockstar then woodstock wud have been in doaba ..anyways nargis fakhri, respect..but still "main saari rat katrina katrina karu"..cuz thats tru love my friends and waise bhi hum ek baar jeete hai,ek baar marte hai, ek baar pyaar karte etc etc although purists may say that mr khan fell in love twice in that movie,but in my theory he jus did it to fuck up salman's head ,old issues there..so srk 1 sallu 0..game on..too much bollywood happening in this post..but then if you grew up in the 90s you would know it..i mean fuck HD maine 'khiladhiyo ka khilaadhi' theatre mein dekhi hai behnchod..anyways..emotions asides..what else is new..don2..heavy..what else..i think ddlj sequel is due now..cuz then only shah rukh would retire,doubt it thoigh..ok that makes me wonder..how would that go?..dilwale dulhaniya fir se le jayenge..sounds like a movie on remarriage..but fuck it.. lets give it a shot..
Here it goes...
so simran enters the train,we all know that...next stop is delhi where there is a big ass punjabi wedding organised by bittu and shruti ofcourse..shruti taunts simran by singing "rabb ne bana di jodhi",simran is pissed ..they fly back to london the very next day(ghar aaja pardesi is played again in the background but its a thrash metal cover since they are moving back to london with akon on lead and the brits in chorus,well fuck the empire)..but then shit happens..raj n simran move to casablanca for their honeymoon ,where anupam kher has opened a gin joint for raj. .but raj has lost it bigtime and is a raging alcoholic now,seriously who wuldnt be an alcoholic if one owns a gin joint and is on a honeymoon in casablanca that too with simran(imagine old kajol)..one day when simran throws a flying kiss, drunk raj asks if one tip one hand catch is allowed as he is holding his bottle in one hand,thats the day simran stops loving him(tujhe pheka toh yeh jaana sanam)..also raj turns out to be a paedophile as he tries to hit on simran's lil sister when she comes to casablanca for a eurotrip(budhe ki yaadaasht ab itni kamzor nahn hai,doosri beti bhi bhej di europe)..anyways too afraid to tell anyone, she whatsapp kuldeep who still loves simran..kuldeep who is a changed man and has joined Interpol is in casablanca for a undercover operation..his mission is to bust the drug cartel operating from london via casablanca selling fake alcohol in rural punjab..the mission is personal to him as he lost his best hunting buddy back home due to poisionous gin..kuldeep comes to raj as they were bff once and asks for forgiveness..when asked what is he doin in casablanca kuldeep replies "kuch haasil karne aaya hun" when asked what, he replies 'zameer' instead of 'zameen' but raj is not convinced.."well i think its a beginning of a beautiful friendship" quotes simran but raj is apphrensive "Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, he walks into mine.."..meanwhile anupam kher comes to casablanca to see how raj is doin with his business but is unsatisfied..gess what, so is simran..she seeks comfort in kuldeep and sings mehndi laga ke rakhna on a piano when kuldeep says "play it again sim,play it"..raj on the other hand after reading some heavy ayn rand and drinking free booze has grown a beard and has started visiting a harrem where he meets a girl with yellow boots,yellow reminds him of those good old mustard fields of punjab and he falls for her but still cant forget simran and keeps drinking..anupam kher now realises that his son has lost it finds new trustworthy kuldeep as his heir..he ask him to marry simran but raj wouldnt divorce her so they plan to kill him and succeed in it by posioning raj..they decide for a christian wedding as she doesnt shaadi mubaarak part2..now that would suck..so simran marries kuldeep in a beautiful chapel..Ms Bragaanza(ooh la la) who is now dating anupam kher is the maid of honor and anupam kher is the best man..but there is some unknown tension between the groom and the maid of honor(some old issues)..anyways when asked for the ring by the priest,anupam kher doesnt seem to have it so some guy with weird hair and in an all black attire produces the ring and then moves out and does some insane solo guitaring outside the chapel for no fucking reason..(literally begaani shaadi mein abdullah deewana)..ofcourse cigg smoking is injurios to health..
meanwhile anupam kher tells his new son kuldeep that he is indeed the drug lord "SIR JI", a secret that even raj didnt know..but simran who now controls kuldeep by the power of lust is the new leader of the cartel..anupam kher on realising that this was all simran's plan from the starting decides to kill her too but the same night amrish puri comes and saves her..amrish puri shocks anupam kher by telling him that he is the chief of Interpol and he knew xactly what was happening through the microchip he had planted on kuldeep's neck of which even kuldeep didnt know..and now he has found both sirji and the rat in the department kuldeep..kuldeep now tries to shoot amrish puri but raj who was alive and was pretending all the time to be an alcoholic and then laters to be dead(under the orders of Interpol ofcourse)comes in between and kicks some hard ass but simran gets shot in the crossfire and dies..police enters and captures the goons viz anupam kher and kuldeep.. raj takes off his mask and is found that he was hrithik roshan instead(srk and hrithik deal,don2 payback)..and then hrithik takes out the cell from kuldeep and dials..anupam kher picks up and movie ends when hrithik finally confronts his dad by saying.."toh aap hai SirJi" ..
written and directed
by Abbas Mustan..
PS..chotte chotte deshon mein badhi badhi baatein hoti rehti hai..
PS2..mind the grammar/spelling..told you,i use notepad
PS3..http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PlayStation_3
