42

i turned 24 today..i was not feeling that great about it and then..

ur fucked..said sm one..

im jus 24.i replied..if im 42 and still single...then im fkd..

or am i then?

so i thot it wud b actually cool to be single at 42..so here is what it wud be if i fk up real bad or real good..

so thats how i plan it to make it cooler for a loser 42 me..

i teach maths..class 9th 10th..thats the best time to nurture ur maths dream ..i will live the kid's dream..in 11th 12th u face the reality and reality i dnt digest that much..collg maths,no im not goin back to collg again,i promised that to myslf whn i graduated..

(plus 11th 12th ke liye padhna padhega fir se..)

so i liv nearby in a cottage provided by a boarding school near mussoorie..its co-ed..obviously..it cud hav been all girls..but i need boys to talk football when im high..u knw" i ws there whn we played at highbury n henry kissed the turf on its farewell match there which happend to b my 18th bday..stuff lik that..romance with the club and all" i can talk bacout dhoni hittn a 6 over long on to lift the 2011 wc at mumbai but trust me ,2015 script is better..i knw,im 42..i hav seen it all..

so the cottage..its 1st floor..studio apartment, terrace n balcony..i hav an old bullet which i only use to go to doon once in 3 months to meet parents and sm relatives..thy dnt get me much now..not new..i dnt get them too..so we drink on this randomness..and i come back..its good to see mum,she still looks beautiful..dad can stil drink more than me..

i dnt hav much furniture..a double bed(u nvr knw)..3 bean bags in balcony(u nvr knw again)..i call them been bags..cuz thy remind me of my had "been" youth..its a funny game i play wid myslf..fey fey i call it..derived from irony irony as fe is iron in chemistry n shit and ironical as it is,its my most hated subject..one antique cupboard..ek sheesha..the hookah i meant...my antique cupboard has an antique mirror too..u look young in that mirror,hell ya,it helps me survive..so thats pretty much it..yes thrz this old bookshelf..thr more books in that which i have not read than those which i have..smhow time nahn milta..hah..fey fey again..ul learn the game soon..and there is trippy..the man who runs my life..he cooks my dinner,laundry..get my stuff..i cnt do it widout him..thr are months whn i use my fone to call him only..so u get the basic idea of how fuckd iam..

on a typical mrng he wakes me up..we roll one together or he does as i still cant roll..people i hav tried,i jus cant..smoke and discuss worldly shit...

so in the mrng i teach kids basic maths..sm wed/thus i take a leav..its champ leag late nite and im an old man now..kids smtimes take my trip on arsenal when im grumpy n givin them random tuff ques on an un announced class test..but thy lov me,i mean who doesnt..i eat a heavy brkfast in school canteen with other teachers during recess cuz im hungry after the early mrng joint...so i skip lunch..random coke n chips n cigg here n there..im still cool..brkfast time i try and avoid other teacher's discussion about boring normal stuff..pension n pf and loans n in laws n not listening teenage daughters..hey did sm1 say a teenage daughter?

so ya..i pass a random remark here n there..people act as thy dnt care wt is say...but their eyes say it all..aftr fkn their day i move to 2nd half of the school day..i roll one more in a cigg,that much i can do..this is the best part..i have made fellow language teachers let me peek thru kids notebook..its fun reading their writings..and trust me syllabus hasnt changed much..read "apne pitaaji ko paise mangwane hetu patr likho" and the kid wrote 1 page full of letter..when in reality he wud jus text dad sayn 10k account plz? and a smiley if its a girl..but no he wrote a full page for that and got 4 on 5 as score...12 on 10 for hypocrisy..reading english is more challenging cuz the plays are decent and curriculum better..bullshit asides,the teacher is pretty..widowed ,so my future love interest..if i do tie the knot and say my vows at 46..it wud b wid her and thy wud b in good grammar..

so i read stuff n discuss it wid her,most of the time tryn to invite her to my place,but widows hav more issues than married ones,u cant cheat on a ghost i gess,but i dnt giv up..smtimes sm kids cm in for sm doubt..sm are genuine..sm nerds tryn to be cool..best is whn pretty girls cm wid a heavy idiotic doubt like is "sir,was hence proved reqd in the end or smthn?" and im lik wow she is cute..fk dnt judge me..thy too hav a crush on me..ok im 42 but im hot..im still lean,white hair..grey as she wud correct my grammar..marry n then correct me bitch..newaz..i wear a tweed jacket...grey brown...i cycle around in campus..this real old IMA bike painted red..twisted sense of humor,n a great collection of hats n mufflers..why am i single again?

so yeah..im doin bad ...but i hav a faded sense of reality as u can see..i still use facebook...ya its stil thr..zuckerberg died n sm arab sheik bought it..made some reforms thr,girls cant log in after 10 or smthn..people r revolting for freedom of facebook on facebook...thy jus wnt quit and use sm odr social network..world has gone crazy..so ya bout me..still facebookn,sm times i stalk my ex gfs,smtimes i see wt my old frnz r doin with their lives n kids..thy too r fkd but conventionally,u knw how society wants u to b fkd,wid taxes n mortgages n kids tuition fee,i mean fkd cuz u cant score is lookd down upon..i mean we are all fkd..y the segregation? fkn world..no point..literally..

besides that i write..ya..as random as alwaz..i hav been publishd..anonymous ofcourse..my 1st novel was named dropper in the rye..major success in pakistan..ya it still exists as a nation.

so..post school hours is the best time to see actually how a kids lif is shaping up..i predict their majors in collgs,their jobs..its funny again as i cudnt deduce mine..again..fey fey..smtimes i play football wid the guys..i still kick ass..pace has gone,vision as alwaz is thr in plenty..more like giggsy,ndr ironical reference..no he doesnt play nemore..but his son gyan does..wenger is plannin to sign him..yeah he is still thr n w hav won 28 titles now...still no champ league..we are cursed...thats the only explanation..that has to be the only explanation..

evening time i relax in my cottage..mussoorie is a great place to be..trippy n i drink at nites..no smkn up then..health issues,we are old,cm on..senior boys join us for drinks on a pretense of doubt sessions..these guys wil do good in life..i mean whosoever can trade calculus for rum can survive the sit that lies ahead in life..dinner is pretty much the same evrday,heavily carnivorous diet..sher abhi bhi ghaas nahn khaata..

so thats pretty much a daily day..wknds i dnt rembr..old habits..

so 42 doesnt look all gloomy to me..and its the answer to life anyway..

PS..a dedication to all trichy guys who are still single and finding it hard (the life i meant)..dnt worry..

Remember..

6₁₃ × 9₁₃ = 42₁₃

its an unlucky base...but then 10 hasnt helped us that much too..so stay calm and DON'T PANICK..

Adios..till i write again..

Douglas Adams..respect..