Marlboro Days

"its been a hard days nite" moaned Raj..it sill echoes in my ears..
he was right.. as alwaz..
Raj..sigh..the guy who started it all..he had a thing..he jus had to quote lines from famous songs preferably rock n roll or lame ass movie dialogues at the most inappropriate of times..i mean he introduced himslef to a bunch of girls, one fine saturday morning as "hey Iam Raj,naam toh suna hoga"..
the girls giggled..and he went cycling wid them..i jus stood thr,admiring his guts..and it was as late as next Monday morning in school we came to know that he was actually Dharamraj Tripathi but it was too late..his dad must have had a poor vocabulary or a bad sense of humour..but neverthless Raj was born..
Class 6th..when i first met him..life was easy but dull and monotonous at times..he brought some spark..a lot of spark actually..he was different but in a good way,a great way rather..popular owing to his good looks and bad behaviour..he was a visionary,a visionary ass..i always felt he cud see the future..

So here he was this new kid in class 6th and by class 9th,he had cemented his place in the brotherhood of lunatics of our school..the prestigious "brotherhood of lunatics or BOL in short"..no junior had ever set foot in its meeting and here was Raj, a member even before writing 10th boards..it was a big thing..BOL ws a hush hush gathering..kinda like the free masons..but only more secretive..it existed but we never evn tald about it..only Raj told me about that once..he cud confide in me..and i liked it..Ok back to BOL..
To be a member u needed to score 214 points..the scouts were there n the grading was tough..the seniors pried all the time,even whn u thought thy wrnt..


Before all that here is smthn about school and our dreaded history..Mr T short for Mr Tehar was an ex con now on a rehab,teaching troubled kids to whom he cud relate..ya he did sm time in Tehar for smthn we dnt knw..our school has "no record" policy!! And our school..well,all d students hav been to juvenile homes or have parents who are in prisons or sm troubled history wid the law..or rather lawlessness..so we wr the bad influence to the outside world..but we never cared about the outside world,thr was so much crap inside....so Mr T seemed dangerous and trust me he was..many thought he was in for molesting kids and traffing..so we took no chances..i on the otherhand found Mr T decent..but i too didnt take chances..im a gutless bastard..dats mayb y i admired Raj..




I remember the first time he entered d bad books of our teachers and by thus the good books of the BOL Jury..it was class 7th summer holidays..Mr T our dreaded history teacher gave us a summer project on The British Rule in India..no one gave a shit to summer project or holiday homeworks..girls n gays did it..the guys here were not academically inclined..why play wid books whn u hav rifles at home..

so neways..while everyone was making projects on the British Rule in India,Raj was making plans..plans to go to Britain..we didnt see him for another 2 months..and on the day of project submission he gave a photo album to Mr T named THE BRITISH RAJ..it was aftr 2 days we came to knw that the album had pics of Raj in Britain doing stuff that a normal british teenager wud do..album ended wid a note scribbled in a manner u cud make out it meant spite..the note read

"the british moved on..so should we"..

no guts no jury..

So the jury was impressed..He scored 37 points for it..thats jus the starting and now he set for motion..how he scored the other 177 points is intellectually and emotionally overwhelming..such an easy climb for him..sounds so stupid now..but back then, we wr kids and skateboards n friendship bands wr cool..so there u go..it was a fkn big deal..discussion over..

He however needed anothr 300 points to be the greatest ever.."THE MADCAP"..
The legend goes that "the madcap" wears an orange cap with M embroidered on it..

"i dnt lik orange plus i gotta do smthn out of the world to be the gr8st evr,stupid pranks dont count" dats wt he had said whn i askd him why he wasnt tryn for the Madcap..


You must be wonderin why its all bout Raj..well as i said..he started it..but thr are other characters in this story too..
There was Atin Cheema..he joined our school late..class 7th from London..that made me realise that thr r fellons in "abroad" too..i thought apna desh hi chuda hai...newaz Atin..he was tall,lanky,handsome and most importantly had a motorbike..james dean of our school,he had been convicted of drunk driving before,wel thats what he confessd a year later..he introduced us 8th graders to booze,bikes,marlboros,leather jackets n girls..hero tha saala.. Atin was diffrnt..polar opposite of Raj..he never cared for us or any1 for that matter..well i dnt blame him, ur not that matured in school for fucks sake..i liked him then..he had money..xtra money..which he spent on us..

And then thrs me..im d most gutless guy ul evr cm across..Both of these managed changin me for good or for bad..i dont talk that much n before they happend i hardly talkd..no parents,no family..my criminal history..i ws in for taking a shot at my foster dad wid a golfclub..i dnt rembr that and Atin feels the club must hav been "1 wood" cuz me hitting sm1 is a
long shot..Atin had a twisted sense of humour..newaz according to the report i hit him twice because he wudnt let me see Kuch Kuch Hota hai on Zee TV..i mean dats bullshit..ok i love that movie or any Shah Rukh Khan movie for that matter but i cant hit sm one..i mean in school i have nevr pushd or evn talkd in a loud aggressive tone wid anyone..im jus a regular kid who lovs his movies..
so i knew jus these two..why they hung out with a loser lik me,i dnt knw..
odrs thought that i was crazy..thez two didnt..cuz mayb thez two were crazy too..well i see a shrink too.."doc" as i call him says that i have a rage disorder and delusions but he thinks im recovering..good for me..




Day 0..

"why so serious?" asked RAj and he lit his Marlboro ..

Atin looked low..he hardly was serious..and even if he was he would not show it..
"nothing" ignored Atin..
"bol bhi de jaan!!" teased Raj..
"gods a whore..i mean its always wid the people who have money.." he suggested.."and pass me my lighter"
"heavy" i meekly added..
" but you have money right? it works for u" Raj complained..
"when did i say its not workn for me?? im jus worried for the poor!!" Atin countered back
"the hell you are!!" shouted Raj..

Both of them looked ready for a heated discussion again,it was fun watching them together..thy wr lik R+ and OH-....super charged individually and created awsmnes when together..ok my chemistry sucks but u get the point right..

"so u dnt think gods a whore?" asked Atin.."whats ur take on God?"

"this wud be interesting" i thought..i lit my Marlboro Red..

"well we have quite a generation gap,me n god..we dnt get along..i mean we dnt listen to our parents most of the time cuz thr ideas are outdated..why listen to smthn dat ws preached thousand of yrs back..its bullshit" Raj stood thr as if he was delievrng a speech..

"so u got daddy issues!!" confirmed Atin
"na..papa dnt preach!!" i ws waitn..he had to quote..
"wt bout u?" he asked me..
"huh?"
"wt bout u saale..wts ur take on god?"
"i dnt knw..i think Raj is right"
"ya go suck Raj's dick"
"oh..u jus pissd cuz he wont suck ur lil dick..?" Raj sneered..
Male ego..it is under rated..men wnt accept it and women wnt bother findn out,thy too r busy wid their shoes.. ..we need a 3rd sex in the equation..
3rd sex..wudnt that jus change the dynamics..how wud be define sex ratio then..a person cud be trisexual then..i lik the permutations..plus hopefully thr wud b more sex then..shit do i need to get laid..?

"ur a fkn ass!!" shouted Atin..
"im Butt James Butt".. Raj in English accent
"Bugger off"
"Bollocks"
"teri pehn di"
"Army!!"
"Arirforce!!"
"Army!!"

it went on for hours..the dual..
thats the first memory i have of us 3 together..these two arguing smoking marlboros..n thats me in the corner..now i sound lik Raj..newaz so that night i understood one thing..it wud be fun with thez three around..Raj, Atin and Marlboros..


Marlboros got us together..its the first cigarette i smoked and nevr changed it..we smoked Marlboros and only Marlboros..i remember the day whn i had my first drag..it wasnt that pretty..not poetry in motion..i was edgy n nervous..its lik having sex for the first time..its kinda difficult,ur not great or confident..doesnt feel that awsm as u had thought n it gets over a lil too soon..and no doubt the 2nd time is alwaz better and u always improve..but u alwaz rembr ur first time..unless u wr drunk and wasted..and im talkn bout both the cases here.. (i jus read cosmo a lot)..
so i rembr,Atin n Raj were smokn there in their room..i askd for a drag..Raj offered his Marlboro Red..n i never looked backed..i got so high on it,i remember talkn a lot that night..we 3 made a pact that we will only smoke Marlboros..we even refer to our cigarettes as Marlboros..
"its not a cigarette if its not a Marlboro.."





Day 1..

class 8th summer holidays..


"its been a hard days nite" moaned Raj..
we had been workn..NGO..social service..govt wants us rehab kids to do social labour..so tired of workn the whole day we wr lyn on our bean bags smokin Marlboro Reds..Atin was havng Marlboro gold special edition,style quotient..he offers us..
"baap ka paisa hai,padhe padhe sadh jayega" taunts Raj..he jus has to quote sm famous movie line or a song..told u,he had a thing..
"fuck..sex karna hai "shouted Atin..he is the horniest guy i hav ever seen..im sure he is gettn some but he wil stil complain..pig..
"my sex life these days is lik McDonalds..self service and no variety" pointed out Atin,he looks at me,"oye..u got ne slutty female friends??"
bastard teases me again..he knws i dnt knw a single girl..ok trust me..im straight..but girls..im jus plain scared of them..who wanna date me newaz..i dnt luk good,dnt hav money..cnt evn speak properly..
"i feel lik killn whoevr heads this NGO thing..i mean thy make us work for shit" Raj was pissed..
"You jus cant go around killing people" Atin suddenly sounded lik a nun..
"Impossible is Nothing" Raj quoted again
"ok maybe you can kill but you ll get caught"Atin spat back..
"kyo kanoon ke haath lambe hote hai isliye?" Raj demanded..

"you cant handle the truth!!" Atin..tryn to give Raj his shit back..
"what truth?" Raj demanded..
"that ur not perfect.. the perfect murder doesnt exist..nothing is perfect.." he added,
"except American tobacco maybe"
he lighted another one..

Raj seemed offended..

ok u dnt challenge Raj..not when he is pissed..not anytime..he takes it to his heart..and he has a big heart..Atin knew it..but then he was a dick smtimes..

Raj stood up..he seemed ready for the challenge..i cud feel the tension building..both thez guys had major ego issues..n pride was at stake..
"il perform the perfect murder" he promised to Atin..he had a twinkle in his eye..as if he could see it..
"i bet my life on that..you cant do it.."invited Atin..
"hit me" Raj commented..the gambler in him was speaking..too much blackjack..
"this is madness" i said to Raj..
"madness..this is Sparta!!" shouted Raj,slammed the door with his foot n marched out..i remember Jethro tull playn aqualung smwhr in the background at that time..the air jus didnt feel right..


Day 2
class 9th summer break


"dnt study if u dnt want to,stop pretending" barked Raj

i woke up with a jerk..so did Atin..
"i was studyn" Atin defended himself..
"Geometry?? lik a novel? " mocked Raj,.."mental maths brother mental maths.." Atin smiled.."newaz Marlboro hai?"
"oh i hav quit smoking" Raj answerd
"did ur girlfriend tell u to quit?" Atin smiled..
"what gf?" i looked at Raj..
"no one" Raj ws about to leave..
"Miss Jailan" Atin sighed
" How do u knw?" Raj turned back and askd..
i ws perplexed..hurt rather..how come Raj didnt tell me..
"i went thru ur mobile last night..lovey dovey texts by Jailan..whos she?" Atin was enjoyn himself..
"who the fuck is she ? and what kind of name is Jailan??" i asked..i wanted answers..
"so since its public now..i gess its not a secret nemore" Raj sat down and took one Marlboro out..
"tell me more,tell me more" Atin sang..well Grease is the word..

"i met her in my last juvenile home.." sighed Raj "since i first saw her in a jail..i call her Jailan..she is most beautiful girl i knw.."
"u dnt knw many girls dude.." Atin smirked..
"a thing of beauty is joy forever" Raj quoted Keats..
"so u in lov?" i lookd shocked..
"pyaar to hona hi tha" Raj again..
"so thats her letters dat u recieve n burn after reading?" Atin asked..
"yeah!!" Raj shot back..
"i thot thoz wr ur answer sheets.." Atin laughed again..
"you cud hav told me?" i felt cheated..
"ho ho..dnt worry il save ur number as jailan in my mobile" Atin said..he was such a dick..

after that day i was jailan for Atin..he re named me..Atin had an uncanny influence on other batchmates when it came to loserness..so the whole school called me Jailan from that day..

we never met the actual Jailan tho..who she was..whr she was..what was her real name..no one knew..we two alwaz asked Raj about her..
one day he jus dismissed us by sayn "a thing as perfect as her cudnt be for real.." he was almost in tears..we nvr askd about her again..

So now i was the only Jailan in his life...





Day 3


"i hate my fuckn name" screamed Raj.."everytime i write Dharamraj Tripathi on my answer sheet i feel lik puking.."

"then puke,maybe ul feel better..plus answer sheet pe ugal de jo andar hai tere,number hi aa jayeng kuch"Atin wid his witty remarks..

"fuck off..this is serious!!" Raj sounded upset...
"whats in a name.." Atin tried mimmickng Raj..

"im changn my name before 10th boards..cant live bein Dharamraj all my life..u got ne good names.." Raj was serious..

"i knw u wnt agree to watvr i say..so what dnt u jus ask ur bitch.." Atin lighted his marlboro gold "wt say jailan?"

"hmmm..i dnt knw..Rahul maybe.." dats d first name that came into my mind..i mean Raj nahin to Rahul..told u im a sucker for SRK..

"why do u evn lik karan johar's gay movies?" Atin dismissd the idea.." u have a fkn KKHH's poster in ur room!! seriously!!"

"Rahul it is then" Raj concluded..he jus had to negate Atin plus takin my side would help build my lost self confidence..loved him for that..

"call me Rahul from today"..Raj lighted his Marlboro Red..

"im calln you Raj only..ask jailan to suck ur dick!!"

So from that day i tried him Rahul but it was tough..he would alwaz be Raj..





D Day..

class XIIth boards hav finished..i cudnt giv them..im in a mental asylum/prison..i hav been declared unstable..n ya importantly, i hav been found guilty..every one believes that a couple of months back i killed Atin..every one but Raj..cuz he knows i didnt..as he did it..right in front of me..i saw him smashing Atin's head twice with a golf club somehow wid my fingerprints on..
"no motive,jus rage.." thats what Raj had told to the judge and the doc who has been treating me..
i read the doc's report..i must say..i ws impressed..this is the most unrealistic medical report that you wud ever cm across ur fuckn life..
it read something like...
"Atin Cheema killed in a violent act of rage in the most bizzare circumstances..the guilty

,delusioned and suffering from chronic pain, hallucinated his whole life as nothing but as the

movie Kuch Kuch Hota hai..
according to the guilty's subconcious mind, following parts were playd by the real life persons..

Rahul (the ever so charming)
T.I.N.A by A.T.I.N ( the new comer from london)
A.N.J.A.L.I by J.A.I.L.A.N (the old best friend now in discomfort)

According to his unstable subconcious .Tina got too closed to Rahul,much too closed for Anjali's comfort..Tina had to die according to

the movie's plot..and so here the guilty, to make the movie happen, took action in his own hands..

And seeing guilty's history for violent conduct and delusions and finding evidences to support

these assumptions and also the hard evidences lik guilty's fingerprints on the golfclub used in

the act of crime and Rahul Tripathi's testimony as a witness..we find Shourya guilty and mentally unstable"

absurd right?? i mean how can any one fall for such crap but it has happend as even the doc knws im such a sucker for shah rukh and karan johar crap..

Raj came to meet a month later in the asylum..he looked diffrnt..we sat down across the hall..my

hands were locked..but i cud bum a marlboro..i askd for one..he offrd me marlboro gold special edition..

"u smoking special editions now?" i asked..
"i miss Atin" he replied..

i felt lik punching him..

"so evrythn ws a lie uh?" i enquired..

he didnt reply..

"was thr any Jailan or any girl..wr u ever in love??"i wanted answers..

"thr was no girl in the jail u dumbfuck..thr ws no jail..i jus came up with it cuz it went well with Atin-Tina crap..changing my name to Rahul on ur wish..knowing ur history for delusions n rage ..it was as easy as anything and dont ask me how i got ur fingeprints on the golf club.."..he leaned back n lit his Marlboro..

"how did u knw that the judge and the doc will buy this crap,its such a stupid plot?" i questioned

again..

"this is India son..SRK sells here" he smiled and took a long drag.."aur waise bhi saare acche plots par to ghar ban gaye hai..main khud kiraaye pe rehta hu.." he sounded like Atin..crap again..

"so why r u here today Raj?"

"to tell u that u are safer in here" he assured me...bastard.." oh baby baby its a wild world!!"

"so all this just for a stupid bet?" i wanted closure..
"ok idiot listen..i wanted prove that the perfect murder exists..and i did it..perfect murder is
not getting caught..its making someone else fall for it.." vintage Raj..quoting crap from some novel or a movie..

"lif is not a movie ,u fucker" i raised my voice..

"you are the last person who shud say that.." he started laughing lik a lunatic...


" and it wasnt jus a bet,life was callin me" he added,"as i once said, i wanted to do smthn out of

the world,stupid pranks dont count!!"

And he got up..wore his orange cap with M embroidered on it..and started leavn..
"Hasta la vista, baby"
"all this for a fkn cap..wt about Atin's death,what about me,how do u feel about that??" i

shouted from behind..

"kuch kuch hota hai anjali...tum nahn samjhogi"..and the Madcap jus whistled past the guards ..